There is a moment after a relationship ends when the practical realities begin to sink in. The conversations have stopped. The future you thought you were building no longer exists. The house suddenly feels different. Even making a cup of tea for one feels unfamiliar.
For Catherine Cooke, that moment arrived unexpectedly.
After 17 years with her husband and almost a decade of marriage, she found herself facing a future she had never imagined. Their son was just four years old, she had recently started a new deputy headship, and overnight every part of her world seemed to unravel.
‘I genuinely felt broken,’ she says. ‘I didn’t know what my life was supposed to look like anymore.’
Like so many people, Catherine can now look back and see signs that things weren’t right. At the time though, the separation felt like a complete shock. She remembers convincing herself it was simply a midlife crisis and believing everything would somehow return to normal. It wasn’t until reality finally hit that the grief truly began.
Alongside the heartbreak came something many people rarely admit to talking about, embarrassment.
She didn’t tell colleagues for months. She barely told friends. Instead she threw herself into work, determined not to let anyone see the cracks.
Ironically, work became her sanctuary. While everything outside school felt uncertain, inside the classroom life still had structure and purpose.
Then, just when life couldn’t have become any more overwhelming, the headteacher left.
Suddenly Catherine found herself stepping into headship at what she describes as the worst possible moment.
‘All I could think was… not now.’
Looking back, she believes that challenge may actually have saved her. The responsibility forced her to keep moving forward when standing still simply wasn’t an option.
Away from school, however, life was changing beyond recognition.
The family home had to be sold. She was learning how to live alone for the first time in her adult life. While some friendships naturally changed during that time, others became stronger than ever. It was a period that showed Catherine who her true friends really were, with many offering incredible support, even if not everyone fully understood what she was experiencing.
‘You rebuild absolutely everything,’ she explains. ‘Your friendships, your routines, your confidence, even your identity.’
Perhaps the hardest adjustment of all was sharing her young son.
Although agreeing to 50/50 parenting felt devastating as a mother, Catherine knew it was the right decision. Her son deserved two loving parents, even if they could no longer live together.
That didn’t make the empty weeks any easier.
‘When you’ve spent every waking minute being somebody’s mum, suddenly you don’t know what to do with yourself.’
She admits she tried dating too soon, searching for confidence before she had properly healed. Instead, the real turning point came when she started building a life for herself rather than looking for someone else to complete it.
She joined social groups, travelled with other single parents and slowly learned something she now teaches every client, growth begins just outside your comfort zone.
Years later she met her current partner, but only after she had rediscovered herself first.
Although she expected to recover within six months, Catherine now says the emotional healing probably took closer to seven years.
That experience would quietly plant the seed for an entirely new career.
After spending decades in education, Catherine trained as a transformational coach, originally believing it would become something she did after retirement. During her training she was repeatedly encouraged to specialise.
The answer became obvious.
She thought back to the most painful chapter of her own life and asked herself one simple question:
‘Where did I wish somebody had been there to guide me?’
Today she is the founder of Right Step Coaching, specialising in divorce coaching, co-parenting support and family mediation.
Her work helps people at every stage of separation, from those quietly questioning whether divorce is the right decision, through to those trying to rebuild their lives afterwards.
As a qualified family mediator she also helps couples reach practical agreements without unnecessary conflict, saving emotional and financial cost wherever possible.
Importantly, Catherine understands the distinction between coaching and mediation. As a coach she supports one individual. As a mediator she remains completely impartial, helping both people move forward together.
Her background as a headteacher gives her a unique perspective when children are involved. Years of working with families, combined with her own lived experience, allow her to support parents through some of the most emotionally challenging decisions they will ever make.
‘Friends and family love you,’ she says. ‘But they often don’t know how to help. Sometimes they accidentally make things harder.’
Instead of fuelling conflict, Catherine focuses on helping people make informed decisions, communicate more effectively and create healthier futures for themselves and their children.
Today she can speak to her former husband, laugh about their son’s antics and successfully co-parent a young man who is now thriving in adulthood.
That didn’t happen overnight.
It took patience, healing and a willingness to keep showing up, even when life felt impossibly hard.
For Catherine, being Built Not Broken doesn’t mean avoiding pain.
It means allowing painful experiences to shape you into someone stronger.
The woman who once believed her life had ended at 36 now spends every day proving to others that sometimes life’s greatest heartbreak can become the beginning of its greatest purpose.
**Need support?**
Catherine Cooke, founder of Right Step Coaching, offers divorce coaching, co-parenting guidance and qualified family mediation. She also speaks at events and organisations on resilience, divorce recovery, healthy co-parenting and rebuilding confidence after life’s biggest transitions.
Divorce & Coparenting Specialist | Counteracting the negative effects of divorce on children
